Finding Freedom
by Clover1995
Summary: In the last moments of his life, Anders finally knows freedom.


Marissa stood there, dagger in hand, staring at the back of the man she loved. Love. A word that meant many different things to many different people. Marissa loved chocolate. She loved her faithful Mabari, Jack. She had loved her family and still mourned the loss of those who had passed. But she had never loved anything or anyone more than she loved Anders. For six years, he had been her closest friend and confidant, her lover…her life. From the moment she walked into that rundown clinic in the depths of Darktown, she knew he was the one. She had always balked at the idea of love at first sight, making it a point to demean anyone who believed that it was real. That was until she met Anders.

She watched as his shoulders rose and fell with a heavy breath as he awaited his fate. Marissa was beyond angry with him for what he had done, but she still loved him with every piece of her shattered heart. Why hadn't she tried harder to stop him? She knew he was plotting something that would end in tragedy, but she never expected anything like that.

Marissa took a step forward, feeling the eyes of the rest of her companions on her back. She gripped the hilt tighter before staring down at the blade in her hand. She recalled the day her father gave it to her, just before he died. It was the only knife Marissa ever remembered him carrying, used primarily to cut roots and plants for healing potions and poultices. Never once had she seen him wield it to cause harm to another person or even an animal. Marissa had carried on with that tradition, making sure that she kept it at her belt, but never used it as a weapon. In her fury over the destruction of the Chantry and the loss of so many innocent lives, it was the first blade she reached for. She took another step toward her lover putting him within reach of his doom.

"I love you, Mari" he whispered. "I'm glad that it is you who will put an end to my curse."

Marissa inhaled a deep breath and slowly let it out. She felt a tear trickle down her cheek. He reminded her so much of her father in so many ways. She wondered if Malcolm was looking down on her. What would he say about what she was about to do? A thought came to her.

"Help me set this right, Anders."

The blonde mage peered up at her, his brow creased in confusion. Before he could say a word, Sebastian cried out, "No! You cannot let this murderer go free. Either he dies or I am leaving."

"Everyone deserves a chance to atone, Sebastian" Marissa reminded him, her tone pleading. "Aren't you always saying that the Maker forgives his children? If Anders is willing to try to make up for his sin, shouldn't he have the chance to do so?"

Anders' shoulders slumped. "Fight with the templars? Against my own people?" He waggled his head. "No, Mari...you cannot ask this of me. I would rather die."

"You heard him," the prince sneered. "Grant his wish, Hawke."

Her lover was once again staring at his boots, ready for the blade she was about to drive into his spine. Marissa drew the dagger back, preparing to plunge it deep into his flesh, when suddenly, she loosened her grip and it clanked upon the stone next to her right foot.

"Just go," she breathed before gulping back a sob that threatened to escape her throat. Marissa turned her glistening azure eyes to the prince and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Sebastian. I…I just can't."

"Then I will do it," he growled as he removed an arrow from the quiver at his back.

He knocked it quickly, but before he could release the string, Marissa was right next to him, jerking his bow to aim at her heart. "I cannot allow you to do it either. If you really feel the need to seek revenge for Elthina's death, kill me. I did nothing to stop him. I even distracted the Grand Cleric when he asked me to. Though I did not know his intentions, I knew they were nefarious. I am as much to blame for this as Anders is, maybe more so."

Sebastian's nostrils flared as he pulled the string of his grandfather's bow tighter. His blue eyes were filled with rage as his breathing became more labored. Then, quite suddenly, he dropped the arrow before snapping the wooden bow across his thigh in a fit of rage. "Fine!" he bellowed. "He will live…for today. But I swear to you, Hawke, I will find your precious Anders and I will make him pay, even if I have to track him to the ends of Thedas. He will die. And if you interfere again, I won't hesitate to kill you."

The prince tossed the broken weapon to the side before stomping toward the direction of the docks. Marissa turned her attention back to Anders, who had stood from his place atop the large crate. "Thank you," he told her. "Thank you for my life, Mari. I'll try not to make such a mess of it this time." He grabbed her face and pulled her lips up to his. "Goodbye, my love."

Without another word, he pivoted on his heel and disappeared into the night leaving Marissa standing there with wet cheeks and a broken heart. She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her leather armor before facing the others who remained. She expected Fenris to say something akin to, "I told you so," but mercifully, he remained silent and Marissa was surprised by the pity she saw in his green eyes.

"We need to hurry to the Gallows. Meredith will be waiting."

The Champion and her remaining companions fought their way through Lowtown and then the docks until they found a ferry that hadn't been destroyed by magical fire. The Knight-Commander, along with her Knight-Captain and a large contingency of templars were waiting in the courtyard for Marian and her friends to arrive. Cullen looked almost as distraught as Marissa felt as he gave her a quiet nod of acknowledgement.

Meredith called for the gates leading to the inner walls to be torn down. Almost immediately upon entering, they were bombarded with spells of every kind. Isabela was hit in the arm by a fire spell. Without a healer to take care of the wound, the pirate was put out of commission until she could wrap a poultice around her burned skin.

It was a difficult battle, but the templars gained the upper hand and began pursuing the mages that had chosen to retreat into the building. Instead of following, Marissa chose to lag behind in the courtyard to tend to her wounded companion. A cold chill ran down her spine when she heard a familiar voice from the main staircase.

"And here you are, just another lackey for the Knight-Commander."

"Anders…I…I let you go."

"I started all of this. Do you really think I could leave knowing what was going to happen to these mages?"

The light of warmth and kindness usually present in the healer's amber eyes was gone as he glowered at Marissa. In its place, were ethereal blue flecks glimmering within the gold. There was not even a trace of the man she loved behind those cold eyes. Like so many she had seen over the years, he was taken over completely by the demon that resided within him. "You are a fool, Hawke" he spat. "I loved you and you turned your back on me."

"Let him go, Justice. Please. If you ever gave a damn about him. If you ever considered him a friend, just leave. I'm begging you."

"I'm sorry, Hawke," he said as he turned and began ascending the steps. "I cannot just stand aside and allow you to do this."

Almost immediately upon reaching the top, shades began appearing all around them. As Marissa battled the unholy beasts, she was gripped by the fact that Anders had finally turned into the one thing he always hated. He was a maleficar and there was no going back from that. He had to be stopped, no matter how much it pained her to do so.

She fought her way through the nightmares until she reached the place where Anders was standing. He swung his staff at her feet, her father's staff, the one she gave Anders for his thirty-fifth name day. She evaded the blow which caused him to lose his balance enough for her to throw her dagger at his chest. It caught between his ribs with a sickening thud, making him reel backward and fall to the stone.

Instinctively, Marissa rushed to his side and held his head on her lap as she brushed away loose strands of flaxen from his brow. Gone were the flecks of blue as the spark of life began to fade from his amber eyes. Anders swallowed back the wave of blood trying to escape his throat as he reached up and gently caressed her face. "Thank you, love" he whispered. "For my freedom."

Marissa could no longer hold back her sobs as she watched the love of her life close his eyes for the very last time. He was gone, just like everyone else she had ever loved. As much as it hurt to lose her parents and her brother, it couldn't compare to the pain she felt at that moment. Yet, somehow, there was an odd sort of serenity to Anders' passing. She knew how much he had suffered throughout his life and especially during his time with Justice. His face seemed so calm, so content as she stroked his hair. All he had ever wanted was freedom. It was at that moment that Marissa's heart began to heal, the moment she realized her love's tortured soul was finally at peace.


End file.
